Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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