Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
