maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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