So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We don't watch enough power rangers
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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