Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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