I cockslap morals
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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