I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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