I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
