I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
