I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Duck Duck Cougar?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
