Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
