He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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