That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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