Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
