she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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