Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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