Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
