Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
