If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
