dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
