Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize