Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
