What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
