He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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