the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
