what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize