I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize