nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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