btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
