Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize