tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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