i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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