i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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