I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
