"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize