Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
