Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
