I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
