Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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