I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
