Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
