**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
