my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
