at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize