It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize