mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
