im gay
i know
yea but for you.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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