Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
