Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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