that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Randomize
