All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
