I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
