Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
