I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
