mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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