the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
