don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
