I wish I could punch you in the face.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
