you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
