I cannot find my penis.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
